A Practical Guide to care for your mate


Introduction

Losing a loved one is always hard, but it's even harder when it happens to someone who isn't in a good place. If you're worried about someone you know who might be considering suicide, it's important not to be afraid of bringing the subject up with them. It can sometimes be helpful for people that are at risk of suicide to talk about their feelings before they make a decision about ending their life.

10 signs to look out for

  • Body language

  • Sleep patterns

  • Communication habits

  • Cognitive function (e.g., memory, concentration)

  • Motivation and energy levels

1. They're more withdrawn than usual.

  • THEY’RE MORE WITHHELD THAN USUAL

Your mate is spending time alone, or avoiding social situations. They may not be as open about their feelings or as talkative as usual, and they won’t want you to spend a lot of time with them either. You might get the feeling that your mate would rather be left alone than spend time with you.

2. They've stopped taking care of themselves.

If your mate suddenly stops taking care of themselves, this is likely a sign that they are depressed and/or suffering from some other mental illness. They may start to neglect their hygiene or general appearance in other ways, such as:

  • Not showering or washing their clothes

  • Not eating or drinking regularly

  • Not taking care of their hair or teeth (eg, not brushing teeth)

  • Not shaving or grooming themselves (eg, long fingernails)

If you see any of these signs in your mate, it is important to seek help from professionals immediately.

3. They're not interacting with anyone, or having trouble with relationships.

  • They're not interacting with anyone, or having trouble with relationships.

Your partner might be withdrawing from friends and family, and also avoiding you. They may be answering your texts and calls less frequently than usual, or they may even stop being responsive altogether. If they are sleeping poorly because they’re feeling anxious or depressed, it’s important to encourage them to get help without pressuring them into it—you can’t force someone into treatment if they don't want it! If they've been avoiding their partner or spouse (and appear very distant), now is the time to reach out and start a conversation about what's going on in their minds.

4. They're obsessing over their job or studies in a way that seems unhealthy.

This is one of the most important signs that your mate is suffering from burnout. You know them so well, and if you see them withdrawing from activities they usually enjoy, it's time to intervene.

If they're not sleeping or eating properly, isolating themselves from friends and family, not taking care of their appearance or doing things they usually enjoy doing—it all points to an unhealthy obsession with their job or studies. They may also be overlooking other parts of life in order to focus on work or school full-time (even though this might seem like a good thing).

Burnout isn't just bad for the person feeling it; it can also be bad for everyone around them—including you. If your loved one is suffering from burnout, try helping them find other ways to relax by scheduling some downtime during the week together and setting aside some time each weekend for fun activities too!

5. They seem to be suffering from physical pain or health issues without a cause, but won't see a doctor about it.

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine the cause of your mate’s physical pain or health issues. They might also refuse to go see a doctor about it, for any number of reasons:

  • They don’t want to spend money on a visit to the doctor

  • They are afraid they will be judged by their doctor if they tell them about their mental health issues and/or past suicide attempts

  • They don't want to talk about whatever is going on with them, even if it's causing them suffering

6. Their sleep and eating habits are changing without any obvious reason (eg because of work or study).

If you notice that your partner is experiencing changes in their sleep and eating habits, it could be a sign that they are experiencing depression or anxiety. Depression and anxiety can affect the way your partner feels about themselves, their body image and their self-worth. They may also have trouble with the following:

  • Sleep - Sleeping pattern changes (e.g., going to bed earlier than normal)

  • Eating habits - Decreased appetite or increased appetite for unhealthy foods, weight loss/gain without any change to diet or exercise routine

  • Social activity - Less interest in social activities such as going out with friends; not wanting to attend family events; withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed doing together (eg spending time together at home).

7. They seem overly focused on minor problems, or fixated on things that happened in the past and can't seem to move on from them .

Recognizing the signs of depression, and knowing how to help a loved one who is suffering from it, can be a powerful tool in your relationship. Depression is an illness that affects millions of people in the US alone. It can take many forms and can have severe consequences if left untreated. Here are some tips on what you should do if you think your friend or family member might be suffering from depression:

  • Listen without judgement or interruption

  • Show interest in what they have to say

  • Let them know that you care about them

8. They're abusing drugs, alcohol or sex to numb their feelings .

  • They're abusing drugs, alcohol or sex to numb their feelings

If your partner is using substances to cope with stress and anxiety, you may notice that their behavior starts to change. You might see signs of withdrawal when they don't have access to their substance of choice or see them becoming increasingly irritable or angry when under the influence of a substance. If this sounds like your mate, it's important for both of you to get help from a professional who can work with both parties in order to get them back on track and into recovery.

9. You've found something they wrote that suggests they're thinking of harming themselves .

  • You've found something they wrote that suggests they're thinking of harming themselves .

If you find a note, letter, email or text that makes you think your loved one is considering self-harm and suicide, act immediately. Don't keep it to yourself! If possible, get your loved one to the hospital or call 911 immediately.

10. Your instincts tell you something is wrong .

  • 10. Your instincts tell you something is wrong .

If you have a gut feeling that something isn't quite right with your mate, it's time to give him or her a checkup. A trip to the vet may be warranted if:

  • he doesn't eat for several days in a row;

  • she seems lethargic and won't get up from her bed;

  • his eyes look cloudy or there's a discharge coming out of them;

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